20 of Steven Wright’s Funniest Jokes

He only takes blood baths. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth. But they are scared anyway. They didn’t know that Rajinikanth can walk through walls. The ones listed are in second place. We all know who won..!!

Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Clean short funny jokes Funny one line jokes about dating, relationships and marriage to make you smile. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! Marriage is give and take. My wife and I always compromise. How do most men define marriage?

Funny Dating Quotes to get you in the mood for a hot dude. Or dudess. These will put you in the right frame for the night game. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac.

What’s the difference between dog shit and niggers? When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking. What’s the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn’t scream in the oven. What’s the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn’t sing when you put chains on it. What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

Why don’t sharks eat niggers? They think it’s whale shit. What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase? How come there aren’t any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don’t work in the future, either. Why do niggers cry during sex? How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, ‘Is everything a joke with you?’.

By Patricia Lantz C. One-line jokes are usually a play on words that involves twisting language with humorous results. The best one-line jokes are puns, sarcasm, and truisms that catch you off guard, offer a quick laugh, and allow you to see the humor in the everyday happenings of life. Of course, any list of best one-liners will be subjective, but those below will make you chuckle and brighten your day. Now beam down my clothes!

This is one of the best because who hasn’t flown somewhere only to arrive at their destination and find their luggage missing? Oh, if only it were as easy as saying, “Beam it down, Scotty! Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Jokes, Humor, Puns, Riddles

New lives for Syrian families in Kent. If you have any onine over the contents on our site, please either register those concerns using the report abuse button, contact hokes hereemail multimediadesk thekmgroup. As it flew away, his sword moved like lightning. One liner jokes about online dating more fun below, but first let me ask you:

42 Funny One Liner Jokes. by Stephen on March 25, · 55 comments. in Jokes. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes. o O o A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. o O o How do you get a sweet year-old lady to say the F word?

And here are the messages she received: And when it comes to the messages that girls get, 7 out of 10 of them are boring and generic! And because the start of the conversation is boring, the rest of the conversation is boring as well. But before we start the conversation with Jess, we need to follow the other steps. You can make her feel a little insulted by making an honest and playful observation about her dress sense.

You can simply alter the suggested openers to fit each Tinder match.

Religious Jokes

Funny joke on married couple A married couple come to the marriage counselor. I love you too. A girl tells her boyfriend: Funny relationship jokes – Pregnancy A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant.

Steal these classic one-liner jokes, from experts in funny from Milton Berle to Conan O’Brien.

It can be a short saying, funny statement or opinion, famous funny quote taht you can apply in your daily life situations. Various comedians and people, who want to make fun, use one liners, to make unexpected story moves and provoke laughter. Best One Liner jokes One-liner jokes – A man sank A man sank in a pond despite the fact that he was a Pisces according to horoscope and total shit as a man.

One-liner jokes – Life Life keeps fucking you, but with no orgasm. One-liner jokes – The good The good is when you do bad things for bad people. One liner jokes – Neighbor My neighbor is a real Genie. Whenever I open a bottle, he comes to me. One-liner jokes – She She was so ugly, but we had no vodka left… One-liner jokes – Today I do not have enough middle fingers for today.

The competition is simly too big. Looks like even at those times men were unwilling to ask for directions. Do you still think that’s a coincidence?


What do snowmen eat for lunch? Where do snowmen go to dance? How do snowmen travel around?

Dating Jokes One-Liners, Group 1. A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. A woman already knows. – Monica Piper. Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.

The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you a question? Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, ‘So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?

When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room. After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. Ronan kept going to the ophthalmic doctor because his eye hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem.

The Doc told him, ‘Your eye hurts when you drink tea, so you can’t drink tea.